Today it rained and of course I had my windows wide open. My shades are always open. It's the first thing I do in the morning after I get dressed. I don't see very many people w/ their windows wide open and I'm told it's not the most socially normal lifestyle. "I mean people could very well be looking at me". My bedroom got a shower since I also had most of my windows open to welcome this randomly placed spring day.
I was thinking-tell me if this is way off-but I was thinking that it's kind of ironic that I don't care if people stare at me as they drive by. I don't care if it makes my neighbors uncomfortable. But yet, I'm scared to death to actually invite people over. I seem to get some turn-downs but not a 100% turn-down rate. It's this thing that I hate about myself. I procrastinate inviting people over because I'm afraid they won't want to come. I'm scared stiff to do it. I would rather they just invited themselves over. I wish they would drop in. I LOVE to have people over but I'm really REALLY scared to invite them. I love my openness, I hate my fears! I feel like I'm the only person in the whole world that has this.
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3 comments:
Open post Amber, I didn't know that you felt that way at all. I laugh at your window thing because my curtains are tied in a certain way so it leaves some open space so when I get dressed, someone could see in. There aren't any people back there to look in, no houses or anything, but I still worry so I get dressed in my closet a lot of the time. I hate the idea of having people see into my house. I won't even open the front drapes because it exposes my entire house to people on the street.
However, I have already hosted three dinner parties in one month of being here!!!
We have the opposite problems.
Does it hurt your feelings a lot if people say no? I can understand if you've gotten a few turn downs then it's hard to keep inviting....I don't know how guys continually ask girls out all the time (I guess they don't that much...it's all online now...maybe you should invite people over in an email?)
man, I hate when I post in my non-garden nom de plum! I love your new memory!!
That's really funny-I told you it's unusual. I am determined to overcome this problem but I find so many easy ways to procrastinate-when I finish my dining room, when I have a table that fits, when we have more chairs, when the cabinets are done. . . Actually I think I'd rather do it in person, and I have tried but people say things like "I'll look at my schedule and we'll be in touch". What I don't know is whether or not that's a turn down. They never call. I think I'd need to make it more fornal. We had a big party for Eli's birthday and had a good turn out(families) and we're having a fiesta for Luke's birthday in May. I'm determined to do better after that. We'll finish our kitchen and hopefully our dining room this month.
Ok, long post I gotta go but I am so excited because I bought the most beautiful frames for the harvester and ???field prayer prints from Paris. The ones Lynne had in her house. They're going to look beautiful. I ordered matts for them!
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